Slow Like a Thai Buddha, but Distasteful Like an American - White Lotus Season 3 | Episode 1… My Honest Review.

I just finished episode one of The White Lotus Season 3, and damn, Mike White really knows how to mess with your head. The show is back, this time in Ko Samui, Thailand, and let me tell you—this opener gave me anxiety in all the best ways.

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We start with a scene that immediately grabs you by the throat—Zion, Belinda’s son, is meditating when suddenly, gunfire rips through the air. The peaceful vibes? Completely shattered. He runs through the jungle, desperate to find his mother, and then—bam—he stumbles upon something. We don’t see what. Instead, we get that classic One Week Earlier time jump, throwing us straight into a new batch of tourists arriving at the White Lotus resort.

And let’s talk about this group. We’ve got middle-aged Rick with his much younger British girlfriend Chelsea (classic rich-old-man behavior). Then there’s the Ratliffs, a whole family tagging along because their daughter Piper is writing a thesis on Buddhism (which, let’s be real, sounds like a rich-kid excuse for a vacation). And, of course, we have Jaclyn, a Hollywood actress, dragging along her childhood friends Kate and Laurie.

Now, the pacing? Slow. Like real slow. But it works. We all know episode one is about introductions—laying the groundwork for the chaos that’s definitely coming. And even though it’s taking its time, I can feel the tension simmering under the surface. These people have secrets. They have issues. And they’re about to self-destruct in the most spectacular way possible.

One thing I love about this season is how it captures the Western fantasy of Thailand. You know, the whole “peaceful, spiritual, paradise” bullshit. The characters are looking for something—enlightenment, redemption, whatever—but Thailand isn’t just some postcard-perfect meditation retreat. And the way Mike White plays with this contrast? Genius. The island looks serene, but those loud-ass monkeys screeching in the background? That’s the real Thailand. That’s the chaos hiding beneath the calm.

And let’s talk casting because holy shit, the Thai actors are killing it. Lisa (Belinda) is stunning, and every single Thai performer in this episode delivered top-tier performances. The lady running the hotel? She’s giving me Jennifer Coolidge energy in the best way—like she’s got a story that’s gonna unfold into something insane. And Parker Posey? My Scream 3 queen is back! She was already iconic, and now she’s here, stealing scenes left and right.

Visually, the cinematography is interesting. The color grading leans heavily into greens and dark blues, which feels so different from the actual Thailand I know. Normally, it’s bright, golden, and warm. But here? The greenish tint makes everything feel eerie, like nature itself is closing in on these characters. It’s like the show is telling us—no matter how much they try to escape their own bullshit, nature (or fate) will swallow them whole.

And that’s what The White Lotus does best. It drops these privileged, messy characters into a “paradise” and watches them unravel. Thailand may be a different setting, but the spirit of the show remains the same. These people are doomed. We just don’t know how yet.

But trust me—some real shit is about to go down. In the middle of all this beauty, chaos is brewing. And I cannot wait to see these characters destroy themselves.

Episode one? Slow burn, but damn, it’s a good start.