From Doubt to Recognition: My Journey as a Filmmaker of Asia

Aam Anusorn

Today marks two years since I was recognized as a Filmmaker of Asia by ARRI during Pride Month. I still vividly remember the shock and disbelief I felt when I received the news. At first, I couldn't understand why I was being given such an honor. Why me? I had internalized so many negative voices that told me my work wasn't worth watching, that I wasn't good enough.

MY BABIES

Accepting the recognition and the award was a proud moment, but it was also confusing. For so long, I had believed those who belittled and abused me, those who said I was useless and my efforts were in vain. I had accepted their harsh words and internalized their abuse. It was almost a strange comfort to be told I wasn't worth it because it became familiar.

But looking back now, I realize that those negative voices, those who tried to tear me down, actually gave me a unique form of motivation. Their doubt and criticism pushed me to improve, to prove them wrong, and to hone my craft with even more determination. Without their harsh words, I might not have pushed myself as hard to become the filmmaker I am today.

Receiving this award from ARRI was a validation of my hard work and resilience. It was a reminder that despite the negativity, I have the power to rise above it and create meaningful work that resonates with people. This recognition has become a symbol of my journey and the growth I've achieved through adversity.

Art in Till The World Ends

I am immensely proud of this award and what it represents. It's a testament to the fact that no matter how much doubt and criticism one faces, it is possible to turn those experiences into fuel for personal and professional growth. This recognition is not just about the films I've made; it's about the strength and perseverance it took to make them. And for that, I am incredibly grateful.

To all the young filmmakers and the New Wave filmmakers stepping into this industry, I want to share a cautionary note. This industry can be incredibly daunting and, at times, even destructive. It doesn’t just kill careers; it can crush your spirit and sense of self. If you're not careful, you might get swept away and lose sight of who you truly are.

One crucial thing to remember is that honesty won’t necessarily lead you to success. However, being honest with yourself and the people around you, especially those who love you, is paramount. It’s easy to lose yourself when money, sex, and power come into play. These elements might make you feel invincible, but they can also lead you astray. Don’t let these temptations make you forget who you are.

After ten years in this industry, I've learned that it’s vital to be a good human being, to be okay with making mistakes, and to embrace them as part of your journey. It’s these experiences that help you grow, love yourself, and understand your true self. Remember, it’s not about never falling; it’s about getting back up and staying true to who you are.