My Personal Story of Survival and Strength

I’m sure nobody knows who I am, so I’ll just leave this video so you guys can get to know me a little better before diving into my story. I know you don’t have to know me, of course, but just in case.

At first, I wasn’t sure if I should share this story. Would people believe me, or would they just dismiss it as fake? I’ve been called a liar, a faker, and all kinds of things before. When I first made “Call It What You Want,” people didn’t believe I dared to speak out on those dark issues. But hey, “Oops! I did it again.” I never said it was a true story; it was inspired by real events, but that’s different. Many powerful people thought I was exposing them. I was like, we don’t even know each other, why would I expose you?

So many people have tried to bring me down, saying not to believe anything I say because it’s all bullshit. The weird part (well, not so weird actually) is that no one talked about this show on the internet. It wasn’t trending on Twitter, but everyone knew about it, and it got 15 million views. That proves a lot.

Earlier this year, in 2024, I experienced something that made me rethink everything. One night, I woke up because I couldn’t breathe. There was blood everywhere, all over my bed. My bed was red. It didn’t scare me. I thought, “Am I going to die now?” I was so sleepy, so I went back to sleep, thinking I was lucky I might die peacefully. But I woke up the next morning. There was blood everywhere. My dog looked worried like she thought I was dead too.

I didn’t want to go to the doctor because I had no money. It’s ironic, right? I’m the best-selling BL director, but I can’t afford a doctor or even good food. The platforms are getting richer, and I’m getting poorer. I hadn’t talked to my mom about it, but I mentioned it to my UK mother. She insisted I see a doctor. I thought, “Jesus, how am I going to get money for that?” So I sold everything—my phone, my laptop, my iPad—to afford the surgery.

It’s crazy, right? Here I am, a supposedly successful director, yet I couldn’t even afford basic healthcare. The industry is ruthless. You work your ass off, create something amazing, and the big platforms take the lion’s share. They get richer while you’re left wondering how to pay your bills. It’s not just unfair; it’s downright infuriating.

When I first saw the doctor, he seemed confused about what was going on. I told him, “Just let me know if I’m going to die.” He smiled at me, and I thought, “What the hell is happening?” After a full scan, they found I had early-stage cancer. It was so early, like stage 0.5. The doctor said I needed surgery as soon as possible because my chances of survival were over 50%.

Selling my belongings was tough. Every item had a memory attached to it. My phone had countless pictures and messages. My laptop was where I wrote my scripts and edited my work. My iPad was my creative tool, where I sketched ideas and planned projects. Letting go of these things felt like letting go of a part of myself. But I had to do it. My health was on the line.

The surgery day was nerve-wracking. I was alone, scared, but determined. I remember lying on the operating table, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm my racing thoughts. The doctors and nurses were kind, but the fear was overwhelming. When I woke up from surgery, I felt a strange sense of peace. I had done what I could. Now, it was up to fate.

Waiting for the results was torture. I tried to distract myself with work, but my mind kept wandering back to the “what ifs.” What if the cancer wasn’t gone? What if I needed more treatment? What if I couldn’t afford it? Those thoughts plagued me day and night.

That’s when I decided to live like every day was my last. I booked a ticket to Singapore, thanks to my amazing fans. Seeing Taylor Swift live was a dream come true. When she performed “Call It What You Want,” I felt like the universe was sending me a sign. I cried, laughed, and felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. For that moment, I forgot about the cancer. I was just a fan, enjoying a concert, feeling alive.

Returning to the hospital was nerve-wracking. I tried to stay positive, but the fear was always there. When the doctor told me the cancer was gone, I was speechless. I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I had been given a second chance, and I wasn’t going to waste it.

This experience changed me. I realized that life is too short to hold onto grudges or waste time on things that don’t matter. I decided to let go of the negativity and focus on what I love—creating art and telling stories. I stopped caring about what others thought of me. I knew my truth, and that was enough.

I started telling myself that if I ever die, I want my funeral to be a celebration of life. No sad songs, no tears. Just Britney Spears blasting from the speakers, and everyone dancing and celebrating. I even joked with my mom about it. I told her, “Play Britney, and don’t invite any monks unless they can sing her songs!”

Money is still an issue, but I’ve learned to live with less. I don’t need the latest gadgets or fancy things. I have my creativity, my passion, and my determination. That’s enough. I’ve found joy in the little things—my dog’s wagging tail, a good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset.

To everyone reading this, I want you to know that life is precious. Don’t waste it on things or people that don’t matter. Live in the moment, dream big, and always find reasons to smile. And if you ever feel like giving up, remember my story. If I can come out of this stronger and happier, so can you.

And hey, don’t forget to check out my movies and TV series. They’re a labor of love, a reflection of my journey, and a testament to the power of resilience. Thank you for being a part of my story.

Aam Anusorn

Independent Artist | Filmmaker | Writer | Creator | Commentator

#AamAnusorn #aamsquad